More Than 'I Do'

It's been two and a half weeks since Jessica's initial seizure and proceeding surgery, and I'm not going to lie, I am utterly enervated. My exhaustion notwithstanding, I remain steadfast. Today I heard for probably the thirtieth time how 'strong' I have been, and how well I seem to be handling the situation in its entirety. Now, I admit, I have always done well under stress and pressure (or a combination of the two I like to call "stressure"), however, I'm not so prompt to attribute my coolheadedness to that.

I'm a Christian man, and I have been for 6 and a half years. When I became a follower of Christ, I had been living with a long-term girlfriend and, like most young men in secular relationships (and religious, alike), it was all about the here and now. We lacked foresight and our 'love' for each other was founded entirely on emotions, which is what caused her to sometimes cut herself, and led me to become very angry with the world. I don't have some mystical 'conversion story' where I met God and suddenly all my problems were taken away, and truth be told, I believe stories like that rob people of true sanctification. No, what I had was a Bible and a decision to live a life prescribed therein, no matter what it took. I moved out of our little 600 square foot apartment and I began to study. Day and night, I lived inside my Bible.

Through all my studies, there has been one specific passage that was more than an intellectual gain. This one passage, for lack of a better word, revolutionized the way I not only perceive God, but the world around us and, more specifically, marriage:

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

This one passage of Scripture, Ephesians 5:22-33, has been the most important verse in my life. Go back and read it again. "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." Do you realize what this means? This means that, men, when you marry a woman (if you have any respect for her whatsoever), you are consenting to endure, through ANY and ALL forms of rudeness, hatred, infidelity, immaturity, even abandonment, and when the day comes that she returns to you, you are to meet her as if she never left your side. This means that YOU, men, you are the ones who are to treat the woman at your side like she is worth every penny, every effort, every sacrifice, even to the point of agonizing death, NO MATTER WHAT.

...now you begin to see why this passage was so influential in my life. "In sickness and in health...for richer or for poorer...till death do we part."

Now, I hope, you are starting to get it. When I met Jessica, and we started to date, and when I first told her that I loved her, and when we began to talk about the future and making plans, and when we eloped and told no one...the entire time, I had this conviction in my heart. After that, when we settled down in Provo, and began working to contribute to our lives together, and planned a wedding ceremony, and out of nowhere, not a month after taking our vows, they are being put to the test...

Are you starting to get it now? The big point is, it's not about me. It's not about my supposed strength, or about how well I'm handling the situation. It's about the fact that, for much longer than I've even known my wife, I've been committed to loving her the way that Christ loved you and me - to the point of a bloody, brutal, humiliating death on a tree.

So I leave you with this thought. No matter what you've done, or where you've been. No matter if you're depressed, or angry, broken or confused, unsure what to believe, or convinced there is no hope, take heart. Christ loved you and died for you. If he can endure the pain of your sin and mine and still look at you as though you've never sinned, then he is also strong enough to help you through your battle - no matter how hard it may be.